No Angel For Me?

I know that I have failed as a mother to provide a stable family life for my sons, security and all that brings with it. I give them love and hide all this from them, it is my job to ensure they grow and flourish and that this has no lasting effect beyond a lesson in responsibilities and commitment. Yet I have still failed, and that is what cuts the most.

I asked for help, I did not receive, somewhere along the line I will understand why. So I am still at the end of the string for him to control. Perhaps I am not deserving enough, well I am aware that in the grand scheme of things we are not yet at rock bottom. I had hoped that it would not happen though, I had hoped that with a little help from some good Samaritans I could start to rebuild, we could turn things around. It still feels like a punishment for being stupid and naive which is how I feel on a good day.