Speaking with one of his ex-colleagues I learned some truths, ones I already knew despite his denying them.
Unbelievably he tried to pretend to them that nothing was going on. Bidey-in works in one place and he worked in another but it was the same company.
Amazingly the ex-colleagues side with me on this. They told him he was being incredibly stupid throwing away a marriage and children on that. He was a flirt, I knew that, I never minded that - window shopping is perfectly acceptable. Bidey-in seems to have responded to this flirting in a way that made him want to leave us for her.
And I am so glad he did now.
My only problem is the silly games he plays with the boys. They are unnecessary, but he will drive them away without my doing anything. It is a shame but that is what he is all about.
And I know that as soon as this new baby is born he will try and set them against this new child who has done nothing wrong but to share the same useless article of a father.
I will find out more as I am friends with this person, before we realised our common link. The natural progression will reveal more. But I have a feeling it will just confirm what I feel I already knew.
Saturday 21 June 2008
Lies Upon Lies Upon Lies
Today he made an utter arse of himself at the children's gala day, upsetting eldest son to the point where I had to work really hard to stop his whole day being spoiled. Yet he did this in front of everyone, his bizarre behaviour, the way his world revolves entirely around him. Ach, it is ridiculous. He travels all the way from his new house, apparently with her in tow as there is no show without Punch after all, to spend a few seconds distracting the boys?
I find out also that he has told the CSA several different stories and when challenged, has changed them. He is supposedly not working at his main job anymore yet he tells me he is and he drives a Range Rover that is a "company car" according to him. I don't know who he is lying to.
I still don't know his new address. He has told me a street name but as it is the main street in that town I don't know if that is true or not. I have said he cannot take the boys there until I have actually seen this house where they will spend time. And I mean see him go into the house with them. Yes, I do not trust him at all.
He continues his nonsense and I do not see the point. Is this some kind of mental health issue? I have a feeling it is and I felt that during the farce of a marriage too. I was battling against something, this thing that prevented him from actually enjoying what he had instead of inventing problems or blowing them out of proportion.
I find out also that he has told the CSA several different stories and when challenged, has changed them. He is supposedly not working at his main job anymore yet he tells me he is and he drives a Range Rover that is a "company car" according to him. I don't know who he is lying to.
I still don't know his new address. He has told me a street name but as it is the main street in that town I don't know if that is true or not. I have said he cannot take the boys there until I have actually seen this house where they will spend time. And I mean see him go into the house with them. Yes, I do not trust him at all.
He continues his nonsense and I do not see the point. Is this some kind of mental health issue? I have a feeling it is and I felt that during the farce of a marriage too. I was battling against something, this thing that prevented him from actually enjoying what he had instead of inventing problems or blowing them out of proportion.
I ramble on. It is one of those days.
Saturday 14 June 2008
I've Got One Like That At Home
Speaking to a friend I haven't seen in a good long while.
Her ex has gotten his new bit up the duff too.
He has phoned her and spoken rather candidly about it.
Are they being cloned somewhere? These immature men who stamp all over us and then expect us to be there for them like we are their mothers?
She can't tell her son, we talked about this. I explained that the boys knew about it because Idiot's new bit can't stop showing them what she has bought for it recently while Idiot complains about having no money. Her boy took the separation worse than mine did, he had a dad who played with him and actually interacted with him on a daily basis. It is going to be difficult but why should she take the brunt of telling her son. Because she loves him, and that's where it gets us. We love our children, we try and protect them and do best by them to heal the wound caused by the family ripping apart. Not for us is the parenting for a few hours only.
I hear how my sons talk about their dad, this new baby and I ache for them as I can't make it better. I cannot defend their dad, I don't badmouth him but at the same time I feel that if I try and make it sound like everything was alright then they'll get confused about how they feel. So I let them talk, I listen, I hug and then we get on with things.
He expects me to tell the boys to love this new baby. How do I do that? Why should I do that? It is not my place and we do not talk about it, but if my sons bring it up then all I can do is hear what they say. I don't have experience of coming from a broken family, the new bit does yet seems to have learned nothing from it as she has cack-handed this from the start.
I was also speaking with someone who worked with Idiot. This at the place he worked, before he was sent to the other site, where he met her. His colleagues knew all about it, from what I heard not only did they think him incredibly stupid to throw away what he had but that they did not think as highly of him as he said they did! Now why aren't I surprised.
They know he is with her, they know about the new baby and disapprove. Good for them. This workmate has an ex too, he lives near me. Since his new bit got a ring on her finger she has banned the workmate from the house.
In a crazy world cake the new bit is the cherry on the top.
Her ex has gotten his new bit up the duff too.
He has phoned her and spoken rather candidly about it.
Are they being cloned somewhere? These immature men who stamp all over us and then expect us to be there for them like we are their mothers?
She can't tell her son, we talked about this. I explained that the boys knew about it because Idiot's new bit can't stop showing them what she has bought for it recently while Idiot complains about having no money. Her boy took the separation worse than mine did, he had a dad who played with him and actually interacted with him on a daily basis. It is going to be difficult but why should she take the brunt of telling her son. Because she loves him, and that's where it gets us. We love our children, we try and protect them and do best by them to heal the wound caused by the family ripping apart. Not for us is the parenting for a few hours only.
I hear how my sons talk about their dad, this new baby and I ache for them as I can't make it better. I cannot defend their dad, I don't badmouth him but at the same time I feel that if I try and make it sound like everything was alright then they'll get confused about how they feel. So I let them talk, I listen, I hug and then we get on with things.
He expects me to tell the boys to love this new baby. How do I do that? Why should I do that? It is not my place and we do not talk about it, but if my sons bring it up then all I can do is hear what they say. I don't have experience of coming from a broken family, the new bit does yet seems to have learned nothing from it as she has cack-handed this from the start.
I was also speaking with someone who worked with Idiot. This at the place he worked, before he was sent to the other site, where he met her. His colleagues knew all about it, from what I heard not only did they think him incredibly stupid to throw away what he had but that they did not think as highly of him as he said they did! Now why aren't I surprised.
They know he is with her, they know about the new baby and disapprove. Good for them. This workmate has an ex too, he lives near me. Since his new bit got a ring on her finger she has banned the workmate from the house.
In a crazy world cake the new bit is the cherry on the top.
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