I still feel a fool for having stayed so long with someone so out of touch with reality.
He has realised the grass is not greener. A friend who once worked with him believes that what happened was flirting gone too far. His bidey-in will realise at some point the error of her ways and what a favour she did for me. Last time I saw her (she always sits in the car very aloof ) she had a familiar look on her face. I recognise that look from many a time before, the look of total unhappiness brought about by something he has done or said (the kind of thing you wish you could sort but know you can't, the kind of thing you can't believe someone who supposedly loves you could say/do that) the rot has started - so soon as well. And there is no way he could have laid on the lies to her that he did on me. Ach, it is their little problem now. Hope they enjoy their lives together and have a life they both deserve.
Me and the boys.
Well, it is a struggle but then such is life. I have a sense of contentment that sometimes wins out against the sadness and that feels good in a warm, comfy blanket kind of way. I know that the boys are happier, far happier although they despair when they have to visit their father and I try to explain that no matter what he is still their dad. But he has let them down so many times and that I cannot help with.
He wants to come with us when I take the boys' out for their birthday. I could strap one of those torture belts around my leg like the Monk in The Da Vinci Code and it would be more comfortable than that. It is up to the boys though as the day isn't about me and I can do anything for them, even spend time with him. Interestingly Bidey-In and Baby Tarzan are not invited, not by me but by him. Ah, the noose is tightening for him already.
Smile, things get better.
1 comment:
Hi there! I was wondering how you were doing :-)
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